


honey, on your knees, when you look at me

by MythologicalHoe



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drug Rings, F/F, Female Kylo Ren, First Time, Lesbians in Space, Light Smut, Mainly some tiddies, Romantic Angst, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Undercover, Undercover Cops, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 15:53:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythologicalHoe/pseuds/MythologicalHoe
Summary: Kira Ren had grown up knowing that there was no one for her. There was no one with a mark that matched hers. There was no one. She would be alone, and she chose a path where she could do that. Then she met the undercover operative that would send her world spinning. Rey was a nervous runner, the first time that Kira saw her, or she thought that she was just some nervous kid that had joined this gang to get some extra money for college or something like that. Kira had taken pity on her, noticing the tattoos of leaves that wound around her arms. Something about them drew her closer to the girl that was already really intriguing to begin with. Rey had seemed scared of her, knowing her reputation full well, knowing that Kira had so little regard for people that she didn't have any qualms about killing her target. Kira had licked her lips, taking her in as she approached her. "I don't think that I've seen you around before," They all met up in a bar, the Belladonna, and only Snoke's gang seemed to frequent it. "You're new."





	honey, on your knees, when you look at me

    Kira had lived her life knowing that there was no one for her. Everyone around her had a mark, some sort of beautiful design that crossed their body, whether it look like a tattoo or a natural occurrence on the body. It was a lonely life, and maybe that's what drove her to a life of crime. She served the criminal mastermind and Drug Lord Snoke, and she was damned good at her job as an assassin. Her marks always met a painful and bloody end, but there was never enough evidence to trace it back to her. It was something that gave her pride. The ability to make people hurt the way that she hurt sometimes, and then go home to a penthouse in New York and pop a bottle of champagne and pleasure herself. 

 

   Kira Ren had grown up knowing that there was no one for her. There was no one with a mark that matched hers. There was no one. She would be alone, and she chose a path where she could do that. Then she met the undercover operative that would send her world spinning. Rey was a nervous runner, the first time that Kira saw her, or she thought that she was just some nervous kid that had joined this gang to get some extra money for college or something like that. Kira had taken pity on her, noticing the tattoos of leaves that wound around her arms. Something about them drew her closer to the girl that was already really intriguing to begin with. Rey had seemed scared of her, knowing her reputation full well, knowing that Kira had so little regard for people that she didn't have any qualms about killing her target. Kira had licked her lips, taking her in as she approached her. "I don't think that I've seen you around before," They all met up in a bar, the Belladonna, and only Snoke's gang seemed to frequent it. "You're new."

 

    Kira Ren thought that Rey was just a deer in headlights, she smiled weakly and looked around her. "Yes, uh. I am. I didn't know if it was that obvious." She said. Kira had instantly taken to her, despite the fact that the girl had soul tattoos and Kira had none. On any normal day she would look at her actions and ask herself what the fuck was she doing? She didn't know what she was doing right now, she felt a little bit scared, thinking about the uncertainty of talking to this girl. But she was just a runner, she shouldn't be nervous about any of it. The two of them talked more and Kira learned her name that day. She also got her phone number. She decided that that was more of a productive day than most days. 

    

** Kira:  **

****

_We should go to dinner._

    It was more of a command than anything else. That was how Kira had gotten her way, commanding to get what she wanted. It had always worked for her, and it should have worked for her then and she didn't know why it didn't. 

 

** Rey:  **

****

_While I do appreciate that sentiment, I have homework to finish and I really don't like that you didn't even say please. Besides, you hardly know me, so I'd have to say try again._

    That was a ballsy move for someone that had only worked for the First Order for about a week. Kira wondered if Rey was starting to regret that after she texted it, but she respected her boundaries like Rey had requested her to. She tried again a week later and after only a little more minimal conversation and Kira's impromptu trip to France and back to New York. Rey rejected her again.  That only made the infatuation that Kira had with Rey worse, as the days went by and Rey got increasingly better at her job, Kira found herself keeping tabs on her. Following her home. Accidentally bumping into her in places in public and pretending to be a friend. And for the most part, Rey went along with this ruse that Kira was putting on. She still wouldn't let her take her out for dinner, even though she so desperately wanted to get to know the girl more. Every time she rejected her, Kira bitterly chalked it up to the soul mark that Rey had and Kira didn't. 

She didn't give up though, especially when she was drunk. She had the taste and smell of a mimosa on her mouth one late night when Rey came in, she brought a few shots and sat down right next to Kira. It had become a habit of hers to do such a thing, despite the fact that she kept rejecting her. "Hello," She smiled so easily, looking more comfortable than she usually was around Kira. Maybe it was because Kira's ability to kill her was hindered by the alcohol. 

 

    "Hi," Kira said. She was burning right now, wanting to get to know the girl more than just what her first name was and what cereal she brought at WinCo. She wanted more than that. She wanted connection. But Rey had a soul mark, she had a soulmate out there and Kira didn't. She didn't deserve one either, or even a partner. That didn't stop her body from reacting like it was burning. She had her hair back in three buns, like she did when she had been on her motorcycle. "What're you doing here?" Rey laughed and Kira wondered if she had slurred her words. 

 

    "Just tired," She said. "Wanted to wind down." 

 

    "Right, I get that." 

 

    "You look miserable." She took her first shot. "What's up?" 

 

    "Not much," Kira said, "just here to drown in my sorrows." 

 

    "And why's that?" Rey asked, raising an eyebrow. Kira just rolled her eyes, hearing a phantom 'oh' come from Rey's mouth. She took another shot. "Listen, Kira. It's nothing personal, okay. You're really pretty and everything --" 

 

    "But I don't have a soul mark?" 

 

    "No," Rey said, "It's really not that at all."

 

    It was Kira's turn to raise an eyebrow, "Then what is it?" 

 

    "You're an assassin," Rey said, "who's known for being ruthless against her targets. I wanted to make sure that if I rejected you, you wouldn't kill me. I wanted to make sure that if I did decide to have a date with you, that you wouldn't be mad if I decided we weren't a fit and we didn't have anymore dates. We also work together." 

 

    "I wouldn't do that," 

 

    "I wouldn't know that, I hardly know you and you hardly know me," 

 

    "But we could get to know each other, it could be so good. Don't you realize that?" Rey blinked, and downed her last shot. She was silent for a minute, and Kira felt even more desperate. She wanted that touch, that company, even if she knew that Rey would ultimately leave and find someone that matched her perfectly. Someone that loved her in a way that Kira wouldn't be able to love her.

 

    "Fine." She sighed. "But only one date, I'm not guaranteeing anything after that." Kira was so happy that day. That day was happier than the day that she had gotten her number, and she didn't think that that was damned near possible in the least bit. That next week getting ready for the date was more than stressful, and Kira was beginning to realize just how in over her head she was. The past few years she liked to pretend that she was some calm and collected badass woman who knew what she was doing, when in actuality, she was clueless. She had to call Phasma to help her pick something to wear. 

 

    "Where are you going?" The girl had asked her. When she told her the name of the place, Phasma smiled and told her that that would be nice. She seemed slightly jealous, because not all people could get to that place.    Kira ended up picking a black crushed velvet suit, and she knew that she looked damned good at it. She knew that Rey would like it too. The actual date itself was probably nothing to behold for Rey, but it was everything to behold to Kira. They talked about everything and nothing, Rey talked about how she had always had a passion for Krav Maga and when she wasn't here or at school, she would do classes and brush up on her skills and it gave her a way to focus. Kira related to that. Punching things helped her focus too. Both of them were pretty unfocused for the most part during the dinner, they went back to Kira's apartment after. Rey was the one to shut the door. She was taking the taller woman in and smiling. 

 

    Kira's mouth went dry as that heat went through her again, pulsating through her body and threatening to melt her very core. Rey seemed to sense this. "Do you want to-" Kira nodded before Rey had to finish the sentence, and Rey pushed herself away from the door and wrapped her hands in Kira's jacket, bringing the woman down to her height so she could kiss her. It was then that Kira realized just how much she really missed out on. She had convinced herself that the only person that she liked being touched by was herself, but that wasn't true in the least bit. Rey knew exactly what she was doing when she kissed Kira, and Kira seemed to fall to pieces. "Take me to the bedroom." Her voice was commanding, and Kira just nodded. She wasn't so used to taking anyone else's orders. Not in this kind of way. She wasn't sure how she felt about how great that felt. When they got to the bedroom, Rey commanded her to do something again. "Take your shirt off, then get on your knees." That was about it, that girl was going to be the death of her and she hadn't even really touched her yet. Kira took off her shirt, and then unhooked her bra, but kept her pants on as she fell to the floor for Rey. 

 

    Rey came forward and started feeling her, softly running her hands over Kira's shoulders and arms and smiling. "Sorry, this bit is a little self indulgent for me." 

 

    "I'm not complaining," Kira's voice came out pathetic and hoarse and she wondered if any of the people she had ever defeated would laugh if they saw her in such a vulnerable state right now. 

 

    "You're like a Roman god," Rey remarked. She told her to get on the bed, still teasing her, tracing lines over her nipples and watching as chills started to run up Kira's skin. She smiled as Kira tried to grind her hips against Rey, signifying that what she was doing was affecting Kira a lot more than it should've. "You're a virgin, aren't you?" Kira nodded, a pink tint coming across her cheeks. "That just made this so much better, just sit back and relax. I'll take care of you, darling. Trust me." That night, Rey had made Kira scream and shiver and Kira had never felt like that. Rey dropped on the satin pillowcase next to her and smiled. "Maybe we should have another date," She told Kira, and Kira nodded. She didn't think that maybe Rey would have taken every bit of information that Kira had had about the First Order in her apartment and use it to take down the biggest drug cartel in New York. 

 

    She didn't know that Rey would have even left that morning before she woke up with nothing but a note on the table. _I'm so sorry,_ Rey had written, _but I have school today._ Now that she thought about it, she had wished that she wasn't so stupid as to think that she could possibly be to Rey. She wished that she could just push the thought of Rey out of her head to this day, even as she spent her days in witness protection program far away from New York and her old apartment that she missed so dearly. What was worse though was the leaves that were blooming in the middle of her arm, the spot was sore and sensitive and every day there was a new tattoo of a leaf on her arms, until there was as many as Rey had had. Kira had spent all her life wanting a soul mate, but now she didn't know. She didn't even know if Rey was still alive, it had been three years since she had seen the girl and she hadn't contacted her through any of it. 

 

    _Move on, Kira._ That would be the sensible thing to do, wouldn't it? But Kira had never been sensible, and she had never practiced control a day in her life either. _Move on, stop obsessing._ She told herself that every day and found herself longing for Rey's touch, even though she hated herself for that. Then one day the door opened, and a handler came into the room with someone behind you. "Kira Ren, it is finally time for you to come home." The handler said. The person behind her was none other than Rey. Kira stood there, unblinking. Rey told the handler to leave them. There was silence between the two of them for the longest time, and the both of them felt uncomfortable. 

 

    "I'm sorry," Rey said, "I uh, I wanted to see you when it was safe." 

 

    _Don't cry. Don't cry._ Tears started to escape faster than she was able to contain them, and that anger she had at Rey faded as soon as she crashed into her arms. "I missed you," She whispered. 

 

    "I missed you too," Rey told her. 


End file.
